the blame
by warriorreaper
Summary: frisk suffers through memories of a genocide run


Frisk sat on their bed shivering, head on their knees hair messy and tears falling down their face, "no… no… no…" they sobbed into their knees, "why… why no more please" they cried, the dark empty room showed no sympathy, for the child who had to suffer with memories of doing things they didn't want to do, memories of harming their friends, someone walked in, "oh frisk! My child are you alright!" exclaimed the familiar motherly voice of Toriel, she sat beside them and hugged them into her side and hummed a sweet lullaby, frisk looked up and frowned, "mum… I'm so sorry!" sobbed frisk burying their face into her clothes.

~frisk landed back in the underground in despair, they didn't want to be returned here, it wasn't their choice, they didn't even give the disappointed Chara a second glance, their feet were moved into the next room, everything the same, flowey threatening them, Toriel rescuing them, it felt good but upsetting because the two didn't remember the life they had, Frisk wanted control, but they couldn't do anything about the resetting.

It was even more shocking when they killed froggit, Chara wasn't happy about it but the EXP had already gone to the long dead child, "I didn't! wha…" tried Frisk, but Chara wasn't ready to listen, and it began, they killed no… they hunted for sport they didn't even want to kill, not to mention Chara was irritable and upset, "I can forgive you for everyone else but you kill my family, I will not forgive you" stated Chara coldly, but it was too late as the fight with Toriel began, Frisk killed her, they cried but became more distant, Chara did as well as they watched their mother turn to dust~

"Frisk, please its ok" soothed Toriel, Frisk shook their head, "it'll never be ok!" they grumbled, "I'll… be ok… just go back to bed mum" stated frisk moving away and wiping their tears away, "see all better" faked Frisk, "but… I can't just… if… if that is your wish my child" struggled Toriel walking out, feeling she had made a mistake, maybe done something wrong, Frisk cuddled into their blanket crying themselves to sleep.

The next morning was odd and awkward with Toriel trying to give her child distance while still pampering them, Frisk appreciated the offer, papyrus had offered to drive them to school, Frisk thanked papyrus and got into the red car, it was a nice drive, but Frisk could only freeze as tears washed down their face at the new memory flooding their mind.

~Snowdin was no different with everyone still dying, only that Chara wouldn't talk much, there was another voice it was distant as if it were talking to someone else, '12 more to go', somehow Frisk felt a little good about killing the monsters because Frisk wasn't dying so they weren't pestered through constant pain and death, Chara took control at the puzzles and lamp, growling that if Frisk can kill their mum, than they can force frisk to suffer with upsetting papyrus, but it did honestly hurt both of them when sans said they weren't human, it was different, Jerry was an annoying enemy, but Frisk liked that it took a while to fight him, at least the townsmonsters can get away, "what? Going to kill papyrus to? How awful can you be!" snapped Chara, "it's not my…" began frisk pausing as they entered the quiet town, their tears were frozen to their face, they stole and took food, everyone had gone, Frisk went into grillbys and sobbed the whines of pain and fear and hate from the dog monsters echoed in their head, "I don't think… I'll ever be able to forgive myself either…" stammered frisk.

And so they walked down past the skeleton brothers house, and as papyrus talked and then offered his own belief in them, they cried so hard as their arm moved and they could only gape as the head fell down, Chara went quiet, the EXP and LV was changing them both, frisk could only stare as papyrus was still so kind in his own death and his head turned to dust~

"FRISK! FRISK YOU ARE CRYING! WHAT IS WRONG!" came papyrus's voice, frisk blinked and gazed at the worried skeleton, "was I? Huh silly me guess your coolness brought tears to my eyes" faked frisk, with a fake smile and fake laugh, "sorry paps" added frisk, "NO HUMAN! AS GREAT AS I AM, IT MUST NEVER BRING MY FRIENDS TO TEARS, SANS SAID IF I CRY, HE'D MAKE THE PERSON PAY, NYEHEHEH! BUT WE'RE BROTHERS SO… HE'S CAUSED A FEW TEARS AND HE'S NEVER TAKEN MONEY FROM HIMSELF!" stated papyrus, frisk laughed, "of course he wouldn't" frisk stated, papyrus nodded, "YES, AND IF YOU FEEL THIS WAY STILL I CAN CALL TORI AND GET YOU A DAY OFF AS IMPORTANT AS EDUCATION IS! YOU MATTER MORE" said papyrus, frisk gripped the skeleton and hugged him tightly, "you really think that… don't you!" sobbed frisk, crying onto their friend.

Frisk sat on the couch, looking out of the window, they had to stay at the skeletons home on the surface, because Toriel had to still do her job as a teacher, Frisk remembered how the day went, or was meant to go, before they had the breakdowns, funny how reliving the same thing that they had control over and not the weird power controlling them underground, they still couldn't control themselves. They were supposed to fall asleep happily, get up, get ready and have a good day at school, but that seemed impossible now, they watched the clouds float around the sky, ignoring sans who had walked in and sat beside them, he raised a hand to their shoulder, ignoring but keeping in mind that Frisk flinched at the gesture, "what's up kiddo?" asked sans, Frisk didn't answer straight away, and sans waited patiently, "tell… about your time research…" asked Frisk letting out a breath, "huh? How did… hehe what's this about?" asked sans, Frisk turned their head and rested their tired eyes on him, "you once said it jumped, funny how time does that" laughed Frisk angrily, their hands clenched, "kid how did you know about that?" asked sans, "I've lived it over and over and over… I want it to end I don't want to die! Ever again, but… I don't know how to stop it!" exclaimed frisk and began sobbing, hiccupping occasionally, "I'm only a kid…" whimpered Frisk, "calm down buddy, whatever's got over you we can fix it" assured sans, not really sure if that was the truth or not, Frisk shook their head "we are here kid, I may have an idea what you're on about and I do know its related to everyone's nightmares, but kid everything's alright now" stated sans, Frisk glanced at him, "huh… nightmares… I wish I could deal with just nightmares… memories! I have memories! And they hurt!" sobbed Frisk, sans watched them, quietly and moved his hand away, his weight vanished from the couch, Frisk didn't know why they were ranting at the short skeleton, maybe it was because he had research on time or maybe it was that they were finally breaking. The weight came back onto the couch, much to frisks surprise, "hot dog, free of charge of course" greeted sans, dropping the treat into frisks lap, they quietly picked it up and took a bite ignoring the waterfall on their face, somehow they had feared sans would hate them, but here he was, being, well, sans, and they laughed taking another bite, sans sat beside them a kind presence because he was there and offered his own forgiveness even if he couldn't remember the whole story, and slightly the image of papyrus's decapitated head, vanished replaced by papyrus in the kitchen cooking some spaghetti, humming a familiar lullaby.


End file.
